'Men Love Respect' - well WHO DOESN'T?

I was thinking over the usual lessons of the Lenten Season as it draws to a close today. It's a time when we generally try to be nicer, give alms here and there and appear humble. However most of it is hogwash because by Easter Monday we are back to our usual insufferable selves.

We all know what Jesus died for. (Just in case you've been living under a rock; He died for our sins to restore our relationship with God that Adam and Eve gave away for an apple pie prepared by Chef Lucifer). But what did He live for? 30 plus years on this hot, dusty planet must have been for a reason.

Part of that reason was to teach us how to live.

(I'm sure by now you're wondering what the title has to do with any of this. You came here looking for feminist male-bashing and i'm talking bible. Pele :D)

One of the best-known bible verses is Matthew 22:39:
 "Love your neighbour as yourself."
Another favourite is Luke 6:31:
"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you."

Of course most of us humans in general and Christians in particular only quote these kinds of verses when we feel wronged or short-changed by others. It's one of those 'Rules-That-Apply-More-To-Everyone-Else' type of situations. One example is the unending love vs submission kerfuffle in Christian marriages. As a woman I'm extremely tired of hearing 'submission' everywhere I turn. Like it is the only way to salvation or something. I doubt the average guy suffers having 'love your wife' stuffed down his throat 10,000 times a day - simply because the society we live in is more concerned about keeping women in their 'place.' Whether a man decides to love his wife or not is such a boring topic compared to the 'epidemic' of feminist 'home-breakers'. 

If your husband loves you - "praise God! You're so lucky! Errm... did you 'jazz' him by any chance?"

If he doesn't - "tough luck, go on your 'kneels', endure, he will change, your reward is in heaven."

----___----

Well, here's one perspective.

Men crave respect - who doesn't?

Women desire to be shown love - who doesn't?

Men love to be pampered - who doesn't?

Women love gifts - who doesn't?

I'm yet to come across a single human, male or female, who hates any of these things. The only individual  difference is in our prioritisation - or love language. Even God had a preference - "Obedience is better than sacrifice." Doesn't mean He didn't give a hoot about sacrifice. So we all have our preferences. No harm, no foul.

Why do we keep fighting over this non-issue? The crux of the matter seems to be that those who value or  prioritise a particular thing seem to be the least likely to practise it.

That is why a husband will crave respect but will insult and demean his wife in front of their kids or even visitors and relatives...

That is why a lady will claim to love gifts and will expect a weekend trip to Dubai and a complete wardrobe overhaul for Valentine's Day while the most she has ever gifted her man is a pack of Bic disposable razors and Axe deodorant...

I'm sure you can think up more examples.

If we could only follow the leader - Jesus.

Guess who likes gifts? Jesus.

Guess who likes attention? Jesus.

Guess who likes submission? Jesus.

Guess who likes obedience? Jesus.

Guess who likes open communication? Jesus.

Guess who likes respect? Jesus.

Because God and Jesus love all these good things, they came up with a plan to demonstrate to us how it's done. That is why Jesus came. To show us obedience, love, sacrifice, compassion, charity, friendship, submission, communication. He washed feet and ate with sinners. He laughed and cried and had great friendships.He obeyed and sacrificed and loved and submitted. He came to prove to us that it is more blessed to give than to receive. And in doing so He received so much more. He came to love us so we could love Him. He came to do unto us what He wants us to do unto Him.

So why can't we just do the same? 

If you want love - give it.

If you want respect - show it.

If you want gifts - give gifts.
if you want to be served - serve.
If you want mercy and forgiveness - practise mercy and forgiveness.

If you want attention - give attention.
If you want fresh pounded yam and ogbono soup every night - errrm...oya see mortar and pestle dia...

This is not a cure-all for every crooked relationship. There will always be a Judas that will not allow you score 100% in your exams. But this is a principle handed down by the greatest teacher that ever walked the earth, and I'm sure if there was a better way He would have shown us that too.

So husbands and wives - and all other human beans - stop beating others over the head about how you want to be treated - just show them. Let your actions and attitude speak. Even if the change doesn't come in a New York minute - keep at it. Give what you want to receive. 

And if you cannot give it then you don't deserve it. 

FOR THOSE IN GOD'S WAITING ROOM...

Children are amazing little humans.

My heart bleeds for those who are trying to conceive. I can only imagine what you're going through.

I pray God answers the desires of your hearts in a big way. Jesus died on the cross and with Him died all our sins, our pain, our infirmities. All infertility issues died with him as well. If anyone can make your dreams come true, He can. Be open.

Please do whatever it will take within reason and the law. Tests, scans, IVF, sperm or egg donation, surrogacy, adoption... God and Science are not enemies.

Let go of fear and any sense of shame or failure...forget about what people will say. They will always say anyway; no matter what you do. Don't let their words break you or keep you from your happiness.

God will do it. Don't give up hope.

Those Standing With Buhari Need To Take Several Seats...

Somewhere in Nigeria an NGO has scraped together some thousands of naira to build a Children's Home in Jos and now, Abuja. I'm referring in particular to Missionaries Kent and Ruth Hodge (www.cfaithministries.org), who have dedicated their lives to the Nigerian poor and outcasts.

In another part of this same country some 'patriots' are scraping together almost 2 billion naira for a one day event with neither a clear objective nor hope of a lasting impact.

Please point me in the direction of these donors who have millions they are not using. I need to 'epp' them put the cash to good use.

But frankly, if people honestly want to stand by the President why not do so constructively? Why this new wine in old wineskins? Recycling tired old political cons? It shows that political parties may come and go but politicians and their sycophants are forever.

The 9 million 'yoots'; are they educated? Do they have jobs? Can this N2b be used instead to open an #IstandwithBuhari Pencil Manufacturing Factory and employ the jobless 'standers'? Maybe we may beat the 2018 deadline for pencil independence...

Look, Nigerians are tired of these political gimmicks. Stop distracting the government with these self-seeking programs and rather spend your time, energy and money on changing lives. Elections are 3 years away. Make yourselves useful in the meantime.

If it is the $200 billion from UAE you guys are positioning yourselves for...oshisco.com!

Stop Hating on Students Studying Abroad

Please all those going Yada Yada Yada about Nigerians that school outside the country: ENOUGH.

- your arguments are pretty weak.

- no, government is NOT 'subsidising' any 'elite' by giving me money at the official rate to carry out legitimate transactions. What nonsense. Change the official rate if you must but don't act like you're doing me a favour. It's MY money.

- the five abi ten tertiary institutions we have in this country are inundated yearly with more than thrice the number of students they can accommodate. So the few who leave; you expect them to stay and join that rat race and worsen their situation? Do you have slots for them???

- our schools are generally shitty if we want to tell the truth. We need to sit up and make ourselves competitive in this new global economy. Nobody is gonna send their daughter from Gambia or Cameroon to school in a place where you can fail because you didn't buy handouts or one dirty perv wants to get his hands in your panties. Rubbish. You hear me? RUBBISH.

- Someone said the average middle class citizen must be a thief to be able to afford to send a kid to school abroad. That person is suffering such poverty of mind I'm amazed he is able to spell Facebook. I can't bring myself to address such low reasoning. Women sell akara by the roadside for years to put their kids through school. I guess we should alert the EFCC.

- Please if there Is anyone who should be made to stay in the country it is your elected and appointed representatives and their families. Like Buhari. And Ben Nonsense Bruce. Private citizens do not owe anyone any explanation about where they choose to school their kids.

- I know a lot of successful hardworking smart AMAZING people who studied hundred percent in Nigeria. I put it to you that you succeeded not BECAUSE of the educational system but INSPITE of it. Stop blindly supporting a system that made you complete a 4 year course in 7 years. Misplaced solidarity. How can we improve a system we will not tell the truth about?

- blanket subsidy in our tertiary institutions is killing us. Like almost every other subsidy program in this country it has been bastardised beyond redemption. I've said it before. We will never prosper if we continue to believe tertiary education is a right and not a privilege. Robbing Peter to pay for Paul's luxuries. I do not see any sector that requires universal subsidy except for health. And that is the one we have left out. Shame.

Let's continue to pay N20k per year and expect miracles. Lets continue to feed the cabals that buy bed space for N100 and resell them for N100,000. Let us continue to sleep 12 in a room meant for 3. And put 200 in a lecture room meant for 20. Abi God loves Nigeria more than every other country. He will turn our wee-wee into wine. Yaaaaaaaay. Rubbish.

- ps: I smell alot of envy. Many of those screaming are doing so because their visa applications were rejected.

Eiyaaaaaa. Not our fault. Try again next month. You can still do Masters even though you missed out on the first degree. I know the struggle is real. After you leave you'll be singing a different tune. Make sure you actually want to study sha! Don't go and swallow drugs and start blaming the devil when you're caught...

- And yes I schooled outside. I didn't even reach the 'abroad' sef and even I can feel the stings of the envious glances. You should see how we 'foreign-trained' are treated at the NYSC offices. Like we committed a crime. Disapproving glances and sneers all around. I don't blame those who never return. Return to what exactly?

- So I call total B.S. on all this hullabaloo about Nigerians studying abroad. And President Buhari should be very careful about his hypocritical utterances. Our PVCs are warming up... no time for nonsense.

Please don't come for me unless I ask for you o. I have your time today.

To People in Authority

What's on my mind, you ask?

- President Buhari is on the right track. I may not agree with his pace, his mode of transport, his utterances or some of the conductors he has employed but the vehicle is sha still on the road and in forward motion. We watch and pray. We are not there yet but we are not where we were this time last year.

- If you are a person in Authority; teacher, lecturer, pastor, CEO, imam, uncle, director, housemaster - and you are DEFRAUDING those under you - economically, emotionally, sexually, intellectually - demanding for or implying that you deserve favors which you cannot boldly defend before the public, your family and God - just stop it.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

You cannot apply for a job as as shepherd and start using the sheep for suya. God is not mocked. Don't use the story of David in the bible as proof that God will overlook your evil deeds. David misused his authority and his children and children's children bore the consequences.

Stop taking advantage of those under you. God hates it and He will fight for them.

Don't Kill Yourself with Medicine

ARE YOU AWARE:

...that a lot of us make ourselves sicker by taking expired or counterfeit medications?

- that 'scratch' tab that NAFDAC introduced to weed out fake drugs; how many of us actually bother using it? Or you think the presence of the scratch tab means it is original? Haba. Help yourself.

- all those half empty medicine bottles in your fridge; when last did you check the expiry? Many of them actually say "use within 4/6/'x' weeks of opening" - do we even bother to check? We open eye drops and use for months - it's dangerous.

- you are killing yourself by patronising a cheap 'chemist'. Always go for the best. Also remember to ask for a licensed pharmacist. Some people you see in the drug store especially at night are JAMB candidates. Don't be fooled.

And refrain from turning the pharmacist to a doctor. Know the limits of what they can recommend. Do not patronise pharmacists for backroom 'drips' and daily injections of antibiotics. You are killing yourself. You are avoiding the queue at the clinic but a long queue is better than a short funeral.

- tonight or this weekend go through your medicine cabinet and throw away everything that is expired or has been stored wrongly. If you wait until you or someone else is sick you may be too anxious to check then. Also this helps you to know which first aid supplies need restocking. In these times of economic hardship it's too dangerous to be leaving the house at 1 am for panadol, ben-gay, andrews liver salt or antimalarial. You should have these basic things in stock.
But always check expiry dates when buying.

- always check the storage instructions for drugs. Many diabetics on insulin have had issues because they stored their drug on the door of the fridge when the instructions clearly say otherwise. The door of the fridge is the warmest part and adversely affects most drugs - breastmilk too.

- you are primarily responsible for your health. Do your part.

Share if you care.

What Has Love - I mean, Submission - Got To Do With This?!

So now that Jumoke the breadwinner - sorry - bread seller has 'hammered' the smelly mouths have opened...

 "can she still be a submissive wife?"

" will she still cook for her husband?"

"can her husband be sure she will not abandon him for a rich guy or aristo?"

"how come her 'polishers' are not also 'helping' the husband? Why have they not also polished him and set him up in a small business so he can still be 'the man'?"

"Why has he been 'relegated' to the role of a 'glorified nanny'?"

(Shocker: the child is actually his as well!)

Hmmm.

If the roles were reversed as they are 99% of the time... would we be having this irritating conversation?

I'm just grateful God is not the average Nigerian male.

As Amistad says: Give us free!