Ministerial Screenings: Our National Assembly Hard at Work

So a bunch of pot-bellied men and women woke up this morning, pretended to 'screen' one nominee; simply clapped for a second one and then closed for the day.

It's obvious they are totally disengaged from the reality of life in Nigeria. Jumbo salaries can do that. Living in Maitama and Asokoro can do that.

No sense of focus. Or urgency. Nothing to suggest they understand how bleak the situation is. How the masses' pockets have dried up and the belts have tightened to the point of asphyxiation.

The country has been at a virtual standstill since January. Almost gave up the ghost in April. Has been managing on life support since May. Yet the creme de la creme are smiling and patting each others backs like they've found the cure for cancer.

I feel like becoming a militant.

Nigeria.

The country where one of the Main policies of an intending Minister of Justice is to give CAR GRANTS to lawyers.

Why do I punish myself like this??? This whole Ministerial Screening from the beginning has been a charade. No new ideas. No ground-breaking policy suggestions. Just regurgitation of old, tired, nauseating talking points; sometimes garnished with nice diction and polished accents.

Please advice me. Should I kill myself or commit suicide?

Rushing to False Prosperity

Nigerians must learn to stop worshipping money and deifying opulence.

I'm not saying this because I'm jealous or envious or a hater.

But this mentality is what has gotten us into the current mess we find ourselves in.

When I was little and I came home with an eraser that did not belong to me my mom would freak out. Even though I claimed it was a gift she would not be pacified. You were guilty until proven innocent. She would come to school to confirm you did not steal it.

Those were the good old days.

Nowadays it is common for a young school drop-out to leave his village on foot and return six months later in the latest Range Rover to a rousing welcome. All sorts of traditional titles would most definitely be showered on him and he will be presented to the young ones as a role model. No one bothers about the source of wealth; only how to spend it with him.

Nearly every testimony in church is about new cars; houses and million dollar contracts. We give people church positions and titles based on their supposed financial net-worth rather than spiritual net-worth. Youths actually flock to certain churches because of a mentality that everyone there buys a car within a short time of joining the church.
What we call testimonies in our churches is becoming a spiritual stink. When last did we celebrate Character and Integrity? How far we have fallen!

It's so bad these days that even in some secondary schools it's the children with the richest parents that get picked as Prefects. And the schools are 'rewarded' with large endowments from their parents.

And we are shocked that majority of our youths are only interested in get-rich-quick schemes. We should prepare ourselves for more armed robberies; kidnappings and white-collar crimes. It is not their fault; they are doing what we taught them.

This country is as corrupt as the Sahara is dry. I have said before that we have to treat corruption like Ebola - infectious; destructive; deadly.

Meaning anyone and everyone around that flashes unpalatable wealth and opulence should be treated first with cautious suspicion rather than a shameless rush to align ourselves and get our 'share'. We should stop worshipping them in our offices and churches and villages. Test all spirits.

In countries where reason still rules, we still find a few people able to ask the serious questions. Wesley Snipes and Lauryn Hill can testify to that.

I have mentioned no names. Just trying to get us to think.

All Roads lead to the Same Old Story

There are some federal roads in Nigeria that have been in the news since I was a suckling babe:

- Lagos-Ibadan Expressway
- East-West Road
- Second Niger Bridge
etc

Every year they turn up like abiku children in our National Budget.

Buhari is on his way to Cross River to kick-start another Abiku child of a road.

Even the tiny sections of these roads that are completed and commissioned are back in the budget after three years for Maintenance. Because they were constructed without the fear of God.

When will we finish with these and move on to other lesser known problem stretches? Of which we have hundreds, by the way.

If we need to put ten toll-gates on each one to get some company to invest, build and maintain for us please let's do it. Money cannot compare to the daily loss of lives and livelihood.

Don't be Foolish in Love

Ladies don't get it twisted:

There are still men out there that do not believe in domestic violence or marital rape.
These men look normal. They wear trousers and spray cologne like Normal people. They may go to church with an oversize bible and may even speak in tongues.

If you are not yet married please take time out of your sharwama and karaoke romance to ask your boo the serious life questions. Ask him his views on women; on rape; on having only female kids; on infertility.

Ask him about working mothers; household finances; the role of in-laws in a marriage; his relationship with his past exes and the women in his family.

Not everyday having sex and sharing nude pictures. There's time for that; believe me na you go taya.

Don't be Foolish in Love. Better know the person you are loving or you may be in for a nasty surprise. Many nasty surprises.

This goes for the guys too. Use your upper brain more than your lower brain during courtship.

But this is specifically about domestic violence and marital rape. If your bae/boo does not believe violence - especially sexual violence - in marriage is wrong, I advice you to borrow yourself a brain and some legs and run fast.

Don't say nobody warned you.

Somewhere in Yobe State there's a bereaved father

Somewhere in Yobe State there's a bereaved father.
I don't know his name because the news channels deemed it unnecessary to even mention.
His son, a University undergraduate died in the last bomb blast.
He came out of the house to investigate the source of some loud bangs; saw a suicide bomber approaching a crowded area and immediately engaged him. They were both killed in the ensuing blast.

The father ran out and met his son in pieces. His son gave his life to save many others.

He tells this story on Channels tv with a dazed stoic look. The reality seems not to have hit him completely as yet.

In other countries his son's pictures would be all over the news. His family would be receiving monetary donations from far and wide to console them. The Governor would have paid them a visit. Because his son died a HERO. One of many everyday heroes both military and civilian that have died fighting Boko Haram.

But in Nigeria, my country, his life and death means Nothing.
Except to the mourning family he left behind.

In Nigeria, my country, our real heroes remain nameless and faceless while thieving politicians go home with truckloads of Awards.

To us, any bomb blast not involving Abuja or Lagos may as well have occurred on Mars. We keep on rocking.

Rest in peace, Dear Unknown.

C ' est la vie.

Is Faith a substitute for Medicine?

Okay let's think about this slowly and carefully....

- Why do you take Paracetamol for headache but reject Epidural for labour pains?

- Why do you take injections for malaria but refuse insulin injections for Diabetes?

- Why do you wear glasses for your weak eyes but you refuse medication for hypertension?

- Why do you accept POP for a broken bone but refuse C/S for your baby whose life is in danger?

- Why would you have no problem with medicines for cough and cold and catarrh but when it comes to cancer it's 'not your portion' and you run away from the doctor like he's an agent of the devil?

Please let's make up our minds.

Either God can heal everything or He can't.

Either God supports medical advancements and interventions or He doesn't.

If you believe in 'faith alone'; fine.

If you believe in 'faith plus medicine', fine.

But be consistent.

Don't take your own medications at home and then come out and tell others it is prayer and fasting that healed you.

Don't go for 5 cycles of IVF and then omit this part during your 'church testimony' with your bouncing baby triplets.

Don't tell your congregation C/S is not their portion meanwhile your 3 kids were delivered that way.

Don't preach "all you need is faith"; "whose report will you believe" and discourage people from following their own doctors advice meanwhile you have health insurance coverage for your whole family and you don't miss your yearly medical check-ups.

Practice what you preach.

The Ministerial List has finally arrived. And it is underwhelming...

If this 'list' had come out on May 30th, 2015; nobody would have been surprised.
Infact this list could have been typed out since March when the election results were announced.

PMB; we know you must give jobs to the boys but haba! This one is a "meh" from me.

I've totally lost interest at this juncture.

Someone with time on their hands should please do the state by state breakdown and let us know which States are pending. Also the male to female ratio, politician to technocrat ratio etc. I can't be bothered.

By the way: if you know PMB please inform him that we said we are fed up with this culture of sending names of Ministers for vetting without portfolio!!!

PMB should not vex us o. He won't like the result at all.

The 11th Commandment: Do Not Get Caught

Let me ramble a bit.

The 11th Commandment: Do Not Get Caught.

Let's Just Be Honest: We want a 'system that works' - as long as it works in our favor.

We are all salivating for our 'leaders' to be made to pay for their 'sins'. We want them to suffer and be humiliated. Like a mob baying for blood.

Even me, I confess I can't wait...

But be careful o. Listen to President Buhari's speech again. It's not just about leaders. It's not just about politicians. It's about you and I.

You can't be praying for someone to be jailed for a $5000 dollar bribe while you offered an FRSC official N5000 yesterday to overlook your expired insurance or that illegal U-turn...

You can't be tearing pant over NASS members who have worked for only 2 weeks in 4 months collecting 'bogus salaries' meanwhile you have been collecting salary as a ghost worker in your local government office for the past 2 years....

You can't be asking Aregbesola why he hasn't paid salaries meanwhile you haven't paid those working for you for 6 months. Infact, most of them are yet to even receive appointment letters.

You can't be accusing Saraki of kwarruption meanwhile you just sent a huge Sallah ram to that guy in the Ministry who is in charge of vetting all the contract proposals...

Many of us went to school with forged WAEC results;
paid for people to write JAMB for us; bribed someone to get us a 'government job';
regularly give out white envelopes in Ministry offices to get contracts;
we lie in bed at home while someone else organises our drivers licence;
we keep disturbing drs for fake 'excuse duty' from work so we can attend weddings and funerals;
we are even paying our kids' teachers 'extra' to ensure they 'do well' in school; we use every means to get ahead of others and cut corners any which way...

The truth is we ALL shout corruption in this country - so who is the corrupt one then??? If we all hate it then WHO is doing it??? Why do we justify every crooked thing WE do but are so quick to crucify others? Because the money is bigger? The stakes are higher?

Be careful what you wish for. If God - willing the wind of Change is actually as thorough as we are hoping, it will probably sweep many of us away as well. Because we are no better. We may actually be ten times worse if given the same opportunity.

Most of us observe crooked dealings in our workplaces and around us everyday but we keep quiet. We even participate. We are scared to be whistle-blowers or to be the odd one out but we hide behind our smart phones to form 'activists' and change agents.

Let's continue to push for change in OURSELVES and those around us, not only those in Abuja. They were not born that way; they started out like you and I. Making excuses for flexible consciences until the poor things just gave up and died completely. It all starts somewhere.

Let's raise the bar in our personal lives.

Let's decide to do the right thing no matter how difficult or inconvenient.

Let's decide to speak up against the little injustices we see everyday.

President Buhari is not a saint. He is not superman or the messiah. He is not the conscience of the Nation. He will come and go and you and I will still be here. With our hypocritical ways.