'Men Love Respect' - well WHO DOESN'T?

I was thinking over the usual lessons of the Lenten Season as it draws to a close today. It's a time when we generally try to be nicer, give alms here and there and appear humble. However most of it is hogwash because by Easter Monday we are back to our usual insufferable selves.

We all know what Jesus died for. (Just in case you've been living under a rock; He died for our sins to restore our relationship with God that Adam and Eve gave away for an apple pie prepared by Chef Lucifer). But what did He live for? 30 plus years on this hot, dusty planet must have been for a reason.

Part of that reason was to teach us how to live.

(I'm sure by now you're wondering what the title has to do with any of this. You came here looking for feminist male-bashing and i'm talking bible. Pele :D)

One of the best-known bible verses is Matthew 22:39:
 "Love your neighbour as yourself."
Another favourite is Luke 6:31:
"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you."

Of course most of us humans in general and Christians in particular only quote these kinds of verses when we feel wronged or short-changed by others. It's one of those 'Rules-That-Apply-More-To-Everyone-Else' type of situations. One example is the unending love vs submission kerfuffle in Christian marriages. As a woman I'm extremely tired of hearing 'submission' everywhere I turn. Like it is the only way to salvation or something. I doubt the average guy suffers having 'love your wife' stuffed down his throat 10,000 times a day - simply because the society we live in is more concerned about keeping women in their 'place.' Whether a man decides to love his wife or not is such a boring topic compared to the 'epidemic' of feminist 'home-breakers'. 

If your husband loves you - "praise God! You're so lucky! Errm... did you 'jazz' him by any chance?"

If he doesn't - "tough luck, go on your 'kneels', endure, he will change, your reward is in heaven."

----___----

Well, here's one perspective.

Men crave respect - who doesn't?

Women desire to be shown love - who doesn't?

Men love to be pampered - who doesn't?

Women love gifts - who doesn't?

I'm yet to come across a single human, male or female, who hates any of these things. The only individual  difference is in our prioritisation - or love language. Even God had a preference - "Obedience is better than sacrifice." Doesn't mean He didn't give a hoot about sacrifice. So we all have our preferences. No harm, no foul.

Why do we keep fighting over this non-issue? The crux of the matter seems to be that those who value or  prioritise a particular thing seem to be the least likely to practise it.

That is why a husband will crave respect but will insult and demean his wife in front of their kids or even visitors and relatives...

That is why a lady will claim to love gifts and will expect a weekend trip to Dubai and a complete wardrobe overhaul for Valentine's Day while the most she has ever gifted her man is a pack of Bic disposable razors and Axe deodorant...

I'm sure you can think up more examples.

If we could only follow the leader - Jesus.

Guess who likes gifts? Jesus.

Guess who likes attention? Jesus.

Guess who likes submission? Jesus.

Guess who likes obedience? Jesus.

Guess who likes open communication? Jesus.

Guess who likes respect? Jesus.

Because God and Jesus love all these good things, they came up with a plan to demonstrate to us how it's done. That is why Jesus came. To show us obedience, love, sacrifice, compassion, charity, friendship, submission, communication. He washed feet and ate with sinners. He laughed and cried and had great friendships.He obeyed and sacrificed and loved and submitted. He came to prove to us that it is more blessed to give than to receive. And in doing so He received so much more. He came to love us so we could love Him. He came to do unto us what He wants us to do unto Him.

So why can't we just do the same? 

If you want love - give it.

If you want respect - show it.

If you want gifts - give gifts.
if you want to be served - serve.
If you want mercy and forgiveness - practise mercy and forgiveness.

If you want attention - give attention.
If you want fresh pounded yam and ogbono soup every night - errrm...oya see mortar and pestle dia...

This is not a cure-all for every crooked relationship. There will always be a Judas that will not allow you score 100% in your exams. But this is a principle handed down by the greatest teacher that ever walked the earth, and I'm sure if there was a better way He would have shown us that too.

So husbands and wives - and all other human beans - stop beating others over the head about how you want to be treated - just show them. Let your actions and attitude speak. Even if the change doesn't come in a New York minute - keep at it. Give what you want to receive. 

And if you cannot give it then you don't deserve it. 

FOR THOSE IN GOD'S WAITING ROOM...

Children are amazing little humans.

My heart bleeds for those who are trying to conceive. I can only imagine what you're going through.

I pray God answers the desires of your hearts in a big way. Jesus died on the cross and with Him died all our sins, our pain, our infirmities. All infertility issues died with him as well. If anyone can make your dreams come true, He can. Be open.

Please do whatever it will take within reason and the law. Tests, scans, IVF, sperm or egg donation, surrogacy, adoption... God and Science are not enemies.

Let go of fear and any sense of shame or failure...forget about what people will say. They will always say anyway; no matter what you do. Don't let their words break you or keep you from your happiness.

God will do it. Don't give up hope.

Those Standing With Buhari Need To Take Several Seats...

Somewhere in Nigeria an NGO has scraped together some thousands of naira to build a Children's Home in Jos and now, Abuja. I'm referring in particular to Missionaries Kent and Ruth Hodge (www.cfaithministries.org), who have dedicated their lives to the Nigerian poor and outcasts.

In another part of this same country some 'patriots' are scraping together almost 2 billion naira for a one day event with neither a clear objective nor hope of a lasting impact.

Please point me in the direction of these donors who have millions they are not using. I need to 'epp' them put the cash to good use.

But frankly, if people honestly want to stand by the President why not do so constructively? Why this new wine in old wineskins? Recycling tired old political cons? It shows that political parties may come and go but politicians and their sycophants are forever.

The 9 million 'yoots'; are they educated? Do they have jobs? Can this N2b be used instead to open an #IstandwithBuhari Pencil Manufacturing Factory and employ the jobless 'standers'? Maybe we may beat the 2018 deadline for pencil independence...

Look, Nigerians are tired of these political gimmicks. Stop distracting the government with these self-seeking programs and rather spend your time, energy and money on changing lives. Elections are 3 years away. Make yourselves useful in the meantime.

If it is the $200 billion from UAE you guys are positioning yourselves for...oshisco.com!

Stop Hating on Students Studying Abroad

Please all those going Yada Yada Yada about Nigerians that school outside the country: ENOUGH.

- your arguments are pretty weak.

- no, government is NOT 'subsidising' any 'elite' by giving me money at the official rate to carry out legitimate transactions. What nonsense. Change the official rate if you must but don't act like you're doing me a favour. It's MY money.

- the five abi ten tertiary institutions we have in this country are inundated yearly with more than thrice the number of students they can accommodate. So the few who leave; you expect them to stay and join that rat race and worsen their situation? Do you have slots for them???

- our schools are generally shitty if we want to tell the truth. We need to sit up and make ourselves competitive in this new global economy. Nobody is gonna send their daughter from Gambia or Cameroon to school in a place where you can fail because you didn't buy handouts or one dirty perv wants to get his hands in your panties. Rubbish. You hear me? RUBBISH.

- Someone said the average middle class citizen must be a thief to be able to afford to send a kid to school abroad. That person is suffering such poverty of mind I'm amazed he is able to spell Facebook. I can't bring myself to address such low reasoning. Women sell akara by the roadside for years to put their kids through school. I guess we should alert the EFCC.

- Please if there Is anyone who should be made to stay in the country it is your elected and appointed representatives and their families. Like Buhari. And Ben Nonsense Bruce. Private citizens do not owe anyone any explanation about where they choose to school their kids.

- I know a lot of successful hardworking smart AMAZING people who studied hundred percent in Nigeria. I put it to you that you succeeded not BECAUSE of the educational system but INSPITE of it. Stop blindly supporting a system that made you complete a 4 year course in 7 years. Misplaced solidarity. How can we improve a system we will not tell the truth about?

- blanket subsidy in our tertiary institutions is killing us. Like almost every other subsidy program in this country it has been bastardised beyond redemption. I've said it before. We will never prosper if we continue to believe tertiary education is a right and not a privilege. Robbing Peter to pay for Paul's luxuries. I do not see any sector that requires universal subsidy except for health. And that is the one we have left out. Shame.

Let's continue to pay N20k per year and expect miracles. Lets continue to feed the cabals that buy bed space for N100 and resell them for N100,000. Let us continue to sleep 12 in a room meant for 3. And put 200 in a lecture room meant for 20. Abi God loves Nigeria more than every other country. He will turn our wee-wee into wine. Yaaaaaaaay. Rubbish.

- ps: I smell alot of envy. Many of those screaming are doing so because their visa applications were rejected.

Eiyaaaaaa. Not our fault. Try again next month. You can still do Masters even though you missed out on the first degree. I know the struggle is real. After you leave you'll be singing a different tune. Make sure you actually want to study sha! Don't go and swallow drugs and start blaming the devil when you're caught...

- And yes I schooled outside. I didn't even reach the 'abroad' sef and even I can feel the stings of the envious glances. You should see how we 'foreign-trained' are treated at the NYSC offices. Like we committed a crime. Disapproving glances and sneers all around. I don't blame those who never return. Return to what exactly?

- So I call total B.S. on all this hullabaloo about Nigerians studying abroad. And President Buhari should be very careful about his hypocritical utterances. Our PVCs are warming up... no time for nonsense.

Please don't come for me unless I ask for you o. I have your time today.

To People in Authority

What's on my mind, you ask?

- President Buhari is on the right track. I may not agree with his pace, his mode of transport, his utterances or some of the conductors he has employed but the vehicle is sha still on the road and in forward motion. We watch and pray. We are not there yet but we are not where we were this time last year.

- If you are a person in Authority; teacher, lecturer, pastor, CEO, imam, uncle, director, housemaster - and you are DEFRAUDING those under you - economically, emotionally, sexually, intellectually - demanding for or implying that you deserve favors which you cannot boldly defend before the public, your family and God - just stop it.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

You cannot apply for a job as as shepherd and start using the sheep for suya. God is not mocked. Don't use the story of David in the bible as proof that God will overlook your evil deeds. David misused his authority and his children and children's children bore the consequences.

Stop taking advantage of those under you. God hates it and He will fight for them.

Don't Kill Yourself with Medicine

ARE YOU AWARE:

...that a lot of us make ourselves sicker by taking expired or counterfeit medications?

- that 'scratch' tab that NAFDAC introduced to weed out fake drugs; how many of us actually bother using it? Or you think the presence of the scratch tab means it is original? Haba. Help yourself.

- all those half empty medicine bottles in your fridge; when last did you check the expiry? Many of them actually say "use within 4/6/'x' weeks of opening" - do we even bother to check? We open eye drops and use for months - it's dangerous.

- you are killing yourself by patronising a cheap 'chemist'. Always go for the best. Also remember to ask for a licensed pharmacist. Some people you see in the drug store especially at night are JAMB candidates. Don't be fooled.

And refrain from turning the pharmacist to a doctor. Know the limits of what they can recommend. Do not patronise pharmacists for backroom 'drips' and daily injections of antibiotics. You are killing yourself. You are avoiding the queue at the clinic but a long queue is better than a short funeral.

- tonight or this weekend go through your medicine cabinet and throw away everything that is expired or has been stored wrongly. If you wait until you or someone else is sick you may be too anxious to check then. Also this helps you to know which first aid supplies need restocking. In these times of economic hardship it's too dangerous to be leaving the house at 1 am for panadol, ben-gay, andrews liver salt or antimalarial. You should have these basic things in stock.
But always check expiry dates when buying.

- always check the storage instructions for drugs. Many diabetics on insulin have had issues because they stored their drug on the door of the fridge when the instructions clearly say otherwise. The door of the fridge is the warmest part and adversely affects most drugs - breastmilk too.

- you are primarily responsible for your health. Do your part.

Share if you care.

What Has Love - I mean, Submission - Got To Do With This?!

So now that Jumoke the breadwinner - sorry - bread seller has 'hammered' the smelly mouths have opened...

 "can she still be a submissive wife?"

" will she still cook for her husband?"

"can her husband be sure she will not abandon him for a rich guy or aristo?"

"how come her 'polishers' are not also 'helping' the husband? Why have they not also polished him and set him up in a small business so he can still be 'the man'?"

"Why has he been 'relegated' to the role of a 'glorified nanny'?"

(Shocker: the child is actually his as well!)

Hmmm.

If the roles were reversed as they are 99% of the time... would we be having this irritating conversation?

I'm just grateful God is not the average Nigerian male.

As Amistad says: Give us free!

Re: Adewole pledges free healthcare for 100m Nigerians

Just read this article: Adewole pledges free healthcare for 100m Nigerians. 

Is this real life or tales by moonlight?

Meanwhile is this not a case of federal government doing the work of the states and LGs?

If the FG insists on doing this they must insist on being reimbursed by the States. It should be on a BOT basis.

I've always said this our federalism we are pretending to practise is only on paper.

Nigeria is currently in an economic Bermuda triangle

Nigeria is currently in an economic Bermuda triangle.

We are in a plane whose destination is unsure, whose flight path is known only to the pilot. At least we hope he knows...

The fact that Ngozi O'conjurer Iwailer was such a 'weist' in her self-appointed role as Coordinating Minister of Economic Sabotage does not now mean we have to go to the other extreme and run this country like a rural peppersoup joint.

We need a solid Economic team.
We need to see and hear them in action.
We need to see the policy document and we need to be convinced it is good for us.

Governance is not about arresting people, please. We did not vote for the EFCC chairman. We voted for a party and a President. China prosecutes and beheads so many criminals daily without all this drama.

Economic decisions should be made by professionals. If it was so simple and straightforward there would be no need for economists. I admit I'm quite the socialist at heart but even I am annoyed by the current goings-on.

The Nigerian middle class is on life support. Many families look and act prosperous but they are just one chronic illness; one car accident; one forex ban away from poverty. The recent CBN shape-shifting is killing our middle class. SMEs are shutting their doors all over the country. And people still insist this will benefit 'the masses'.... lol.

The masses are holed up in tiny villages with no water, no light, no healthcare. No amount of forex restriction will change this overnight. We are only succeeding in creating new millionaires out of the round-tripping bank cabal. More money for the soakaways. (At least soakaway construction companies will make some money).

Well, just my two kobos.

( Speaking of two kobos... we still mint coins in this upside-down country. Don't think about how much it costs us yearly if you don't want to lose your apetite).

Budget Matters

Apparently, the 2016 budget is an untidy mess: http://www.punchng.com/2016-budget-is-an-untidy-mess/

If this budget is passed in its current form we the people must not take it lying down.

We should begin recall proceedings for every NASS who supports it.

We should begin impeachment petitions against our Executives.

If we cannot unite against this sort of impunity then we are really hopeless.

Ps: While we are crying over the Federal budget our State Governors have written and passed far worse. Most of them are buying cars, building "befitting" lodges and employing 200 special advisers. That state budget is the one that will have the most impact on our lives but we do not care. One reason this our federalism structure is just a joke.

Wahala Dey

N50 bank tax...

New electricity tariff...

Wahala dey...

I like the fact that Fashola is emphasizing 'continuity' in federal projects. We are tired of abandoned projects.

Meanwhile where is Amaechi? Is he working or sleeping? The hue and cry that heralded his vetting and appointment has led to this anticlimax? Abi he is still poking his nose in Rivers State issues? Issokay.

Our legislators are primarily lawmakers. However they have decided that their pockets will be better lined by moonlighting as Federal Investigators. Every two to three years they 'investigate' the usual 'juicy' suspects: anything to do with crude oyel. After they have made one or two shocking revelations they are paid off and the inquiry is killed and buried. Then they wait till the 11th hour to pass 46 bills.

The labour of our wicked leaders present shall ever be in vain. Amen.

I wonder, would our democracy be strengthened if NASS members were nominated and selected from the State Assemblies rather than by election? Maybe it would ensure we become more serious about our state grassroots politics and would make politicians work harder. Just a thought.

I still think 50 percent of our NASS should be made up of traditional leaders and various industry leaders. Career politicians are the worst. Just a thought.

I still think local government autonomy is a laughable mistake. We are just not ready. Stop the madness. Give the money to the state government and let them manage their state. If they are not doing well the indigenes should show them the way out. Every local government should be able to generate revenue through waste collection, market taxes etc.

It's just as laughable that we would have federal police being fed and clothed by the State. It's just not working. The Civil defence should be made into a State by State security outfit. The laws should clearly demarcate what crimes fall under what outfit. State police will not be worse than the 'unofficial' security operatives being used by governors now. Just a thought.

This is why I'm annoyed with this Government. I expect them to be implementing far-reaching changes and turning the stagnant status quo upside-down. Not this business as usual.

Just my opinion.

Jury is Still Out on PMB

In this article, The Economist argues that President Buhari is repeating an economic error he made as dictator 30 years ago.

I do not think The Economist is so wrong about PMB.

I'm yet to be adequately wowed.

I'm yet to see sufficient outside-the-box ideas.

I see old wine in new wineskins. And new wine in old wineskins.

Well, PMB will do his best. That I am sure of. I pray it will be enough. He has actually done the principal thing already which was to wrest Aso Rock away from the PDP Cabal.

The truth is PMB is Moses. He is the Old Guard. It's the Joshuas and Calebs we should be seeking out now.

As for my BOO; may we never see your type again.
Amen.

Our Fake Federalism

I don't think Nigeria or Nigerians are ready for Federalism. I mean the real one not the nonsense we are practising now.

We need to be mature enough to admit when an experiment has failed. And start looking for alternatives.

This system of government we imported wholesale is killing us. We should fashion our own indigenous system, involving our traditional rulers and respecting our socio-cultural differences.

The Biafran issue is just a symptom of a deeper problem. Even if they stop today some other group in some other area will rise up with the same issues.

We have to address the Nigerian entity and decide which way we are going and how we are going to get there.

The Constitutional Conference was a step in the right direction but unfortunately it was a good thing driven by the wrong motives. Most of the conclusions reached were pretty mediocre and insulting and not worth the N12 million naira legal bribe the delegates were given. Because the people who gathered were more vultures than doves, each group coming to feed on the carcass that was Nigeria and seeking to increase their share of the meat rather than seeking to resuscitate Lazarus.

Infact anyone who collected that money should hide their head in shame. Such a person has shown that their patriotism is fake and shallow. Whoever heard of such nonsense. 80 percent of Nigerians will never earn 12 million cumulatively in their lifetime.

I repeat, Federalism is bound to fail in this country because it is alien to us. And no matter how we have tried to make the transplant successful it is just not working. Until we can indigenize it and really put a unique stamp on it that is uniquely Nigerian.

Let us continue giving Panadol for Brain Cancer.

Aliens are Real Oh!

You guys know aliens actually exist right? I mean, are we really that proud that we believe in the trillion zillion galaxies in the Universe only Earth is populated? gerrrarahia..... grin emoticon

I believe in God o. And I believe my God also has some species tucked away on some other planets. The more the merrier, abi?

Also newsflash: the scientists are right. All those dinosaur and mammoth bones are not fakes. There actually was a 'first' set of humans and animals on Earth; they didn't do very well, obviously... who knows what happened. Where the scientists erred is in their evolution theory. We did not evolve from them; they were wiped out and then God started afresh with Genesis 1:1... maybe after we eventually kill ourselves with nuclear bombs, Kim Kardashian, Ebola and all that ish God may decide to start another new set...

When we get to heaven you'll realise i was right on the money.

PS: i have a question. When the Rapture takes place what is gonna happen to the fellas in the International Space Station...?

I'm not crazy. (Just a little unwell :D)

The New Stamp Duty

 Nigerians will now pay a N50 stamp duty on all bank transactions and deposits. 

1. I believe this flat tax is too high, and the threshold is too low.

2. I am very suspicious of such revenue without a definite goal. I mean I would have been happier if it was clear that all revenue from this would go strictly to healthcare or education for example. Nobody's money is everybody's money.

3. Government has failed to show sufficient good faith by slashing their allowances and entitlements. Why should they continue to enjoy all sorts of side benefits in these hard times??? Federal and state executives still employing hundreds of their cronies as SAs and PAs. We are not yet serious.

4. I would prefer a tax on luxuries to ensure the poor are left out of it.

5. Our 'cashless society' efforts will surely be affected.

6. I remain an unsupporter of this tax. However I remain a supporter of this Government.

Time to Declare an Economic State of Emergency!

Iranian oil is set to flood the international market, sending prices even lower.

Fuel was sold in one city in the US for 47 CENTS for a gallon. Yup, you read that right. And it's predicted to fall even lower.

I ask again: isn't it time for PMB to declare an Economic State of Emergency?? Where is our Finance Minister???

Anyways let us not wait for the powers that be to do the needful. Start by declaring State of Emergency in your household, to your numerous girlfriends and even hangers-on.

Now is not the time to be posting pictures of 50k bottles of alcohol on Facebook. If you waste your money and have to start doing 'stranded in Lokoja' runz, we will laugh at you...

Those who can join Winners to do 100 days fasting should join. It will help you save money.

If you are fond of eating out time to return to your kitchens... if you must eat out decide to go vegetarian... no more spending 5k on assorted at Iya Oyo...

Limit your time on Instagram. There is always the temptation to order all those nice looking bags and shoes. How many people will you owe???

Valentines day is not far away. Time to start the arguments with your girlfriends so when you break up with them on February 1st they won't suspect you. Retain only the babe who brings you lunch at the office. Oh I forgot, you're fasting.... in that case break up with her too... in this economy you must be a Tertiary level mumu to be maintaining more than one babe.

Any boyfriend asking you for 'loan' for 'project' should be swiped to the left asap. Tell him to join the fast; God will provide.

But jokes apart let's be serious o... re-evaluate your spending. The only expenses that should not reduce should be charitable giving; helping out those in need. Because he who gives to the poor lends to God - and God pays back generously in kind.

Please contribute your own money saving tips...

Pastors' Wives

Tomorrow being Sunday...

I think pastors' wives have one of the most difficult jobs in the world.
And i think most of them are likely to end up on higher thrones than their boos in heaven just because of the stress of life their men put them through.

...that is if they are able to overcome the bitterness and hurts that seem to come with the job title...

One thing I've observed is that a lot of male pastors tend to treat their wives like church members. Therefore many wives feel unloved and un-special. (I don't know how 'two becomes one' applies in this situation. My take would be to observe the relationship between God the Father, the Son and the Spirit). Ironically they are much more attentive to the needs/issues of their members than those of their immediate family.

This wife/disciple complex is really hard to cope with. Aside from the fact that the husband may spend hours counselling a church member with wayward kids or marital issues while his own kids are also out of control and his wife is lonely and bitter but he is too busy with ministry to notice; leaving mommy to cope on her own.

Unfortunately(?) Jesus never married or had kids so alot of wisdom needs to be applied. But I would say the work of God is very tough and not to be embarked on lightly. And if you do find yourself in any type of church work try to give those at home the attention they deserve.

I'm just just a small girl observing with my small eyes.

To All Self-Important Social Media 'Celebrities'

Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, put up a post today and politely responded to the comments he received. Follow the link, so that you will see what I mean. 

Now, this goes out to all those with 50 abi 500 abi 5000 'followers' who feel they have arrived and their names have been indelibly written in the Book of Life.

Many of us have become quite arrogant and self-important over this ephemeral means of communication. We act like our poo-poo now smells like Channel no 5 and is being traded on the NYSE.

Reality check: Your thousands of followers cannot buy the smallest piece of agege bread. The only value in it is the leverage you can get to build relationships that can be converted from virtual to the real world. To further your life goals, help others, make a difference.

This is Mark; Mr Facebook himself. Mr I-am-a-dollar-billionaire. He's even dashing out the billions sef to further increase his madness quotient.

To add insult to injury, he replies Facebook comments on his thread! Politely, intelligently. All decorum applied.

Take time to learn from the owner of the Facebook that you want to kill yourselves over. People gossiping, backbiting, brain-farting, insulting each others mothers and spouting generational curses and all such nonsense. Such a shame.

Please this year let's start acting more like humans and less like monkeys.

Anyway this is 2016. You know who to leave such 2015 trash for...

'Age is notin burra number'

With all the Davido wahala using up data nationwide I cannot help but to notice that his babymama is considered a cougar/old enough to be his mother/a cradle snatcher, etc

Apparently in Nigeria all that 'age is notin burra number' na very very looooong tin.

So our men can continue marrying their grandchildrens' mates while women will just be chopping insult upandan for common 7 years age difference...

Is it a crime for somebori to prefer guys that are young and agile rather than old and hypertensive? Why can't girls have nice things too?

Abeg sharp gehs; kontinew adjusting ya age downwards o jare. Tear that offensive birth satificate and goan swear affidavit grin emoticon Since this country won't allow you to progress.

Just 'adjust' with sense abeg. Take into consideration your school satificates, the effects of gravity, your previous instagram birthday announcements, the age of your mother's last born, etc. Take heed to the 11th Commandment...

*runs away*