Grammar Rant

Stop saying:
"I COULD care less"

You don't mean that.
What you mean is:
"I COULDN'T care less"

ie: You don't give a hoot. Your hootometer is at ZERO. There's no lower hoot to give, even if you wanted to. (Negative hoots do not exist).

"I could care less" means you still have a little care left.
There are still a couple of cares you've reserved for emergencies. Maybe hiding in the folds and creases of your care pocket.
But nah. Give it all away. Empty the freaking care account; scrape rock bottom; do a victory dance and boldly declare:

"I could NOT care less (than I do right now)".

Just think these things through before you say them. It's really just a matter of logic.

Why is Nobody Praying for Burundi?

This is why the world does not respect us.

Fellow Nigerians, do you know where Burundi is?
Do you have any idea what's going on there?
You claim to be the giant of Africa; is it by mouth?
Where is the outrage?
Where are the social media posts?
Where are the flags?

You care more about the American Elections and the Syrian refugees - issues which have little or nothing to do with you. Except that you want to appear 'current'. But people are dying in Burundi and it's no big deal.

You are waiting for CNN to be interested first, right?
Waiting for Facebook to issue flags abi?
Then suddenly you become an activist...

What a pity.

Charity Begins at home.

‪#‎BurundiCrisis‬
‪#‎WhiteFriday4Burundi‬

READ Fashola's Short Term Agenda as Minister

Here is the link: http://www.thescoopng.com/must-read-full-text-of-fasholas-very-clear-short-term-agenda-for-power-roads-and-housing/ 

Nigerians.

We will not listen. We will not read.

Yet we will wail and moan and criticise like we are demon - possessed.

The Minister has detailed his plans for Power, Roads and Housing. Broken down for even children to understand. You know the man is a born teacher. Past, present, future all laid out nicely.

I would have expected this speech to be repeated continuously on our tv and radio stations. By now the National Orientation Agency should have it translated into the top ten (not 3 pls) Nigerian languages and broadcast in audio and written form to sensitise the grassroots.

But no. We rather waste our time on earth debating uselessness.

Especially my dear social medianites. If you don't read are you not a disgrace to yourself? You would rather debate endlessly on Biafra and how much money Dasuki stole and whether GEJ should be made the next Pope and whether Kim Kardashian's bum is original or from plastic surgery. Yet this one concerns you and your wallet directly. But you won't read. You are waiting for someone to summarize? Wasted education!

Most of our parents would have done better to save that money they spent on our education because many of us are so undeserving. At least if they had used the money to build house and farm they would be better off.

Please learn to read. Add value to yourself.

This Useless Social Media Bill

As for this rubbish; it's not even worth the paper it's written on.

Should be given to the nearest suya seller to put to good use.

What's in a Name?

A friend just posted something that sparked my interest.

Most of the names we bear and give our children - the ones we call 'Christian names'.... they are actually just biblical names...

David, Ruth, Abel, Abraham, Joseph... none of these people were Christians lol.

Maybe Paul, Timothy and Titus, yeah.

But what's really in a name? If 10,000 people bear a name and out of all of them ONE is famous or good or holy - does that make the name itself good or holy?

Do we name our kids hoping they will have the attributes of that person? Not likely though. It is our training and upbringing of that kid that matters, not the name, isn't it?

If you notice even in the bible name changes were significant and personal to the bearer; not just because a famous person bore it.

The name can only be helpful if we teach the children often why we chose their names and what our hopes and dreams are for them as relates to that name.

Otherwise you can name your child Jesus Christ; it won't mean jack. Infact there are many terrible people called Jesus.

In summary I must conclude that giving our children Israeli/Hebrew/Jewish names is simply superfluous. We might do it because we like them but there is no added spiritual advantage over our traditional names.

This is for those who tend to view those who do not have 'Christian' names as backward or unspiritual or somehow deficient.

To All the Reformed Bad Guys who are now 'Good Guys'

Lemme just drop this here.
This is for the men.

Many of you appear so nice and respectable and soft-spoken and gentlemanly.

You seat in the front pew in church; you are a devoted father; loving husband; donate millions to charity; rescue abandoned cats and regularly stop to help blind old ladies cross the street.

Yaaay. What a guy!

But.....you KNOW you weren't always like this.

Some of you spent your youth sowing wild oats. And in the process you probably broke a lot of hearts. You likely had sex with some girls that if you are totally honest with yourself, WAS NOT BY MUTUAL CONSENT. Maybe you drugged some, got some drunk, pressured some, chased them around the bed in the middle of the night because they stayed overnight at your place... it happens in a thousand ways.

I hear many guys talk about 'those days' and their conquests. In their voices I hear wistfulness and boastfulness and nostalgia and even pride. Even among Pastors and other religious folk. Seldom do you meet a guy who expresses remorse for his youthful waywardness or shame for the hurts he caused.
And i wonder how God created men in general.

It's amazing that you would even come across someone you took advantage of, raped, deceived and dumped so many years ago - on Facebook or Twitter or on the street - and you would foolishly attempt to reconnect and be 'friends'. Because in your mind all that was years ago and she should understand that you were just kids... and you are surprised when she wants nothing to do with your obtuse self. Because to you she was just a statistic. But to her you were a life altering horror.

Newsflash:

Those girls you consider as conquests were actually human beings with feelings. They had hopes and dreams and blood flowing in their veins - just like you. Just like your wife and your pretty daughters.

Many of you are "good guys" today.
But the trail of lies, rapes and assaults, torn hymens, 'bets' you made with your friends, illegitimate children, botched abortions, broken hearts and ruined futures you left behind.... you think you can just sweep them under the carpet as 'youthful exuberance'?

No way.

It doesn't matter how much you give as offerings or how many orphanages you build. You can't bribe the cries of the wronged into silence.

Whatever God you claim to worship; whatever religion; it doesn't matter. Make it a point to accept your guilt and make amends when and if possible. It's your moral duty.

If you bump into someone you know you didn't treat right; if you know where they live or work; you should reach out to them and say SORRY. It doesn't matter if it was 50 years ago. A little apology can go a long way.

Just my two cents sha.

Be Wise as a Serpent

As long as the birds have learnt to fly without perching the hunter must learn to shoot without missing.

Since some folks seem not to understand that sexual violence/abuse is unjustifiable then all potential victims - you and I - have to make up our minds not to be the next statistic.

Jesus was not kidding when he said be wise as a serpent.

Every female from teen age and above should by now know how to identify unsafe situations and avoid them. Don't be naive and don't be careless and don't be stupid. Listen to your intuition.

Also we must start arming ourselves; start learning basic self-defense skills. Sometimes simply knowing what and where to bite may be the difference between a sad story and a testimony.

If your partner/spouse is abusing you and for all sorts of reasons you haven't been able to leave him; at least he sleeps abi? Be wise as a serpent. In your spare time use a knife or some other implement on the part of him that he uses to assault you. Whatever it is. Jesus said if anything is causing us trouble we should cut it off. Then thou shalt have peace.

It is too late for many of my generation but we can still save our children.

Start telling our kids the truth: that most people they will meet will not have their best interests at heart. Teach them to be alert, extra cautious, not to blindly trust adults or people in authority, to question everything.

Teach them the dangers of uncles' laps and aunties' unbuttoned blouses. Teach them to suspect unsolicited goodies and to avoid private meetings. Teach them to tell you everything no matter how mundane and to keep no secrets no matter whose. For their own safety.

Teach them self-defense, teach them to stand up to bullies, to stand for what is right, to know when to fight and when to run screaming like hell.

Remind your tween and teen girls that Stupidity is not love. And that the harder they fall in love the more cautious they must be. A lot of rapes have been perpetrated by 'first loves'. Teach them to love with their eyes wide open.

I know we want to protect them and keep them innocent for as long as possible - but unfortunately the world is too evil for that now.

I repeat; your child is at risk the moment he or she is born. The earlier you get their heads out of Disneyland and into the real world the safer for them.

A Quick Morning Exercise

An exercise for all those who have decided their job on Facebook is to monitor other people's posts/threads/comments and then proceed to 'report' them to their parents, spouses, family members or colleagues...

1. Find a mirror.

2. Ask your reflection:

"Did God predestine me to be this Useless to myself in particular and worthless to humanity in general?"

3. Remain there until you get an answer.

Good morning.

Violence Against Women MUST Stop

Every day, Every week, Every month
Another sad statistic.

Domestic violence is reaching epidemic proportions and we seem not to care.

What is going on???
Misogyny and Patriarchal society fighting back?

What are our churches and mosques doing about this? Why are they not speaking out publicly and unequivocally about this?

Rather than calling out pregnant unwed girls to the pulpit for public disgrace; why not call out abusive spouses? Why allow them to hide under their heavy tithe envelopes and cover up for them while their families bear the brunt of their wickedness in private?

Some of us know women who are being bullied and beaten by their husbands. Sometimes they drag them out to the middle of the street and pummel them in public. We turn our faces and walk on by. We know women who constantly show up with black eyes and bruises. We pretend everything is ok. We even have family members being abused and we happily say "there is no room in this house for divorced women"
"Marriage has its ups and downs"
"Just pray for God to change him"
"Get to know what upsets him and don't do it again"
"Your case is not even that bad"
"It is the woman that builds her home"
"What will people say? Don't carry your problems outside. People will laugh at you"
"God hates divorce"

Violence against Women - it's all around us. From little girls to aged women. From househelps to corpers to pastors wives. From our neighborhoods to our offices.

If you see something, please say something. DO something. It IS your business. You may be the last point of succor for that person. You may be the voice of reason that can save a life.

"There was a girl I used to know
She was oh so beautiful
But she's not here anymore
She had a college degree
Smart as anyone could be
She had so much to live for
But she fell in love
With the wrong kinda man
He abused her love and treated her so bad
There was not enough education in her world
That could save the life of this little girl

How come, how long
It's not right, it's so wrong
Do we let it just go on
Turn our backs and carry on
Wake up, for it's too late
Right now, we can't wait
She won't have a second try
Open up your hearts
As well as your eyes."

**Please I'm in pain right now. If you are tempted by the devil to come here and talk about the evils of feminism or how the bible says submit I will insult your ENTIRE lineage before blocking you.

This post is about LIVES being lost. Use your brain.

All Our National Identity is in Crisis

Any serious government should realise that our NIMC is of topmost priority. Full implementation of the NIN and integration with other methods of identification ie passports, BVN, drivers license, PVC etc should be on the front burner. The system should be up and running before the next election cycle begins.

Until we know who is who and who is not who in our country virtually every other system - legal, education, health, social welfare, security - will not function properly.

By now the NIMC should be in a state of emergency. No one working there should get more than 3 hours of sleep a night. Lol. Seriously.

But this is Nigeria. We excel at majoring on minors.

Shame on us. All of us.

I had promised myself not to say anything but watching Obama's news conference just now has moved me. Please watch it and learn.

This weekend I felt so ASHAMED to be a Nigerian. I've always known our homegrown capacity for crass insensitivity and tactlessness but rarely have I witnessed us export it internationally in such a disgraceful and disgusting way.

To gatecrash your colleagues father's funeral to loudly complain that her guests did not attend your father's own last year - and worse still to start sharing tshirts with your father's picture on it - then set up your own canopy at the funeral grounds to conduct a rival service - is it possible to descend any lower? Have we no shame?

It is simply immoral to attempt to capitalize on someone else's sorrow and grief for your own personal gain and to push your own selfish agenda. There is a time for everything. We couldn't even wait a week before exposing ourselves!

God forgive this country of empty soulless religiosity. If it stinks so much to me a human being I wonder how heaven is coping.

If you really do not get how pitiful this is - how heartless this has made us look in the eyes of the world - then I really cannot help you. You are beyond such human decency. But for the sake of the few, I will try.

Get this into your head: ISIS/ISIL is an international threat. A worldwide crisis. Your Boko Haram is still classified as regional. There are more than 30 countries all over the world that have been battling regional terrorism for years. They don't come crying on social media for sympathy. They deal with their issues. Countries which are - let's face it - far more important and relevant to the rest of the world go through problems everyday without this kind of public indecency.

The enemy of my friend is my enemy. ISIS has killed and is killing Americans. So of course America and American companies and American interests will rally round their oldest friend and ally with whom they share a common enemy. The same way you would be more concerned and involved in issues involving your immediate family and close friends than about a stranger like me you merely met on Facebook. What is so difficult to comprehend in that???

The irony is that most Nigerians in the South never felt an ounce of pity or concern for the Northerners who were being oppressed by Boko Haram until the attacks moved closer to their 'interests' in Abuja. 'let those muslims be killing themselves there' was and - still is - a prevailing sentiment. Admit it.
And yet we expect total strangers to care more about us than we care for each other.

This just goes to show why we are where we are, why we are who we are and why we will probably still be here for many moons to come. Let us continue praying empty prayers in our places of worship. Those self-centered prayers will simply turn to harmattan breeze to torment us at night. We need to examine our hearts first and discover what it really means to love God and our neighbors as ourselves.

Shame on us. All of us.

Team Social Media - Action Not Flags

For all those with energy to discuss flags of countries and who to pray for and who not to pray for... Errrrrrm why don't you put your money where your mouth and fingers are.

Oya see worthwhile cause to support.

Practice what you've been preaching.

Don't pretend you are suddenly broke o. Abi you found money for data bundle.

Not everyday forming Facebook Warrior and Twitter Overlord.

I'm tired of the Facebook wars over nothing.

So I've decided to be a troll today.

It's almost December and some of us cannot honestly point to ONE person or ONE family we have helped this whole year without expecting anything in return.

(Paying your nanny, taking your mistress for lunch and dashing your guard 2k for weekend do not qualify as charity)

Why don't you try to end the year on a good note? Allow your conscience to speak to you.

Get behind this worthwhile cause. And find others as well.

Its not only in church that you can give o. So that people can see how God has blessed you. It's not only your Pastor that God says give to. Charity Begins At your doorstep.

Be someone's Father Christmas. Times are hard!

What you spend on suya and Hennessy can mean the difference between life or death for someone else.

A little boy out there in the streets will become the armed robber or suicide bomber of tomorrow. Because those who should have cared enough to help were fighting over flags.

If you mention the word 'flag' today kindly expect me on your thread in full troll mode.

‪#‎ActionNotFlags‬

Pray For the Best, Prepare for the Worst

There was so much death all around the world yesterday. Some blamed Friday the 13th.
We continue to pray for peace both in Nigeria and all other troubled spots.

But as a Christian I hate to remind us that this world is technically supposed to end... and not in a good way...

All these: climate change; terrorism; refugee crisis; wars; earthquakes and tsunamis; they are all pointing us in the same general direction... and it don't look too good. Don't expect any solutions anytime soon.

For example: those expecting Boko Haram to be permanently eradicated... i hate to disappoint you but history does not support such optimism. The best we can hope for is suppression and minimal casualties. And this only if we maintain permanent vigilance.

The irony is that we in naija are more likely to die from malaria and typhoid and childbirth and road accidents than any of these news-worthy cataclysms... at the end all die be die, abi? So weep rather for yourselves and for your children....

In summary; pray and work your hardest for the best; prepare for the worst.

Social Media Hooligans

Meeeeeeen. This Facebook won't allow somebori to be romantic in peace today. But I can't help myself.

Just observing some social media hooligans dancing up and down about the Ministerial appointments, about BH, about N5k allowance, about Biafrauds, about anything and everything.

Please let me say my mind:

Those of you who tried to subject us to another 4 years of hell under Jona; you should be aware that silence is your only logical option for now. Your incredibly poor sense of judgment in that regard can only be forgiven if you publicly repent or keep kwayet. Anything you say with such a pitiful background can only be taken with a barrel of salt.

You who profited greatly from the chaos of past administration; you who campaigned against PMB based on tribe and religion; you who descended deep into the gutter happily during election time; you think we have forgotten? We are just pitying you and hoping for the renewal of your mind. However you seem to be stuck in your past. Eiyaaa.

Those of you telling us the wonderful things Jonathan did - save it for someone who cares. If you have decided to be like Lot's wife and keep looking back at that mess please hurry up and turn to pillar of salt. And let's have some social media peace and quiet. We have a nation to build.

You think we have forgotten that the country virtually broke down after Jonathan conceded - and all the eye-service they were using to trick us that the country was working ended???

Now you have suddenly turned activist and you suddenly have a list of 5000 things the President should have done by now?
Don't be silly.

Run ye back into the hole from whence ye came.

When some of us are trying to keep our President and his team on their toes and on the straight and narrow don't think for one minute that we regret voting him in. Buhari is a million times the President that Jonathan could never be even in his wildest brandy-inspired dreams. Don't bother liking or commenting on posts that do not concern you.

If your wish is to cause confusion and point out weaknesses and set traps and wait for this administration to fail so you can dance your masquerade dance, let me refer you to the olodos who tried to set trap for Daniel in the bible. The Lions that are waiting to crush your bones are currently saying their prayers before meal.

‪#‎rantover‬

Who is helping who?

Reality Check.

'My husband helps around the house.'

'My wife helps with the school fees.'

'My husband helps with the kids.'

'I help out with the cooking on weekends.'

'She helps out with managing the budget.'
.
.
.
.
.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Listen to yourself speak.

A man in his own house is 'helping' who? Cooking to feed who? Washing whose dirty pant? Taking care of whose kids?

That's how we will be clapping for a man because he simply took care of his own kids alone for a weekend. As if they suddenly dropped from heaven into his house. You are not scared to say you are 'baby-sitting' your own children. Hian.

A woman in her own house buying groceries to feed who? Contributing money for whose kids? Washing whose clothes? Taking out whose trash? Balancing whose budget? No be her own?
That's how we will be clapping for a woman that pays school fees. Why won't she pay? No be she find pikin?

A man and woman marry and they become one flesh. And they subsequently produce/adopt children and they become one family.

Anything you are doing for your family you are only 'helping' YOURSELF.

We should stop all this stereotyping.
Everyone in the house should tackle the tasks they are best skilled and positioned for to the benefit of the whole family. Stop dividing and demarcating family roles based on genitalia.

We are not Wailing Wailers. We are Constructive Criticisers.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

We've had well-meaning Presidents in the past. The last one came with a basket full of good intentions. He wanted to do it all by himself. Unfortunately his illness worsened and that was that. Not a single one of his good intentions outlived him. After him came the Pharaoh who knew not Joseph. And we suffered greatly under his rule.

Well, now our 'Moses' is here. And like his biblical counterpart he is unlikely to take us to the Promised Land. That's just the honest truth. He is too old; his time is too short; the issues are too many and the Promised Land is too damn far.

What he needs to do for us now is to establish systems and institutions and groom the Joshuas and Calebs that will continue his legacy. Forget about telling us how wicked Pharaoh was. We know. That's why we followed you. Even with your dodgy past and personal issues.

Remember the original Moses had a problem with delegation too. He was trying to run a one-man show. Until he borrowed sense. That Messiah complex appears to also be Buhari's weakness. I refer you guys back to Rev Kukah's speech at The Platform. He said some deep stuff. Read his quotes about why Buhari 'failed' his first time as Head of State.

As a chronic Buharist I understand why some of my comrades are all in their feelings when they see some of us criticising his government. But I would like them to put away the romanticism of the election period and allow this Government to do what we voted it in for.

Let me put it another way.
There's a reason most schools have what they call 'Continuous Assessment'. Almost every week there are tests and projects and assignments. And our kids are scored on all these; not only on the final exams.
You don't watch your child doing the wrong thing or possibly taking the wrong approach to studies and say 'give him/her more time'. No. You correct right at the beginning to ensure the end result is favourable! It's called tough love. If you wait till final exams it may be too late by then.

We are not Wailing Wailers. We are Constructive Criticisers.

Sai PMB.

6 Months, Still Waiting

November 29th will mark 6 months since the APC moved into Aso Rock.

I hope they know that the excuses we accepted at the '100 days' milestone will not be tolerated at 6 months.

Enough of 'quick wins' and body odour and putting out fires haphazardly.

This administration has a COMMUNICATION problem. We need to know what's going on and we need to know it now.

We need a PLAN. As the bible says, the vision must be MADE PLAIN. So that everyone knows where we are heading.

Some are promising N5k for the unemployed; some are promising portfolio-less ministers; some are promising free husbands for all single women... disjointed talk all over the place with no focus or direction.

Nigeria cannot be run like a neighborhood mama put or mechanic shop.

I prefer to criticize now so we can enjoy later, than to join the eternal praise singers and we find ourselves in a deeper ditch than we were before.

The same broom that swept out the old wife is waiting for the new wife...

Ministerial Screenings: Our National Assembly Hard at Work

So a bunch of pot-bellied men and women woke up this morning, pretended to 'screen' one nominee; simply clapped for a second one and then closed for the day.

It's obvious they are totally disengaged from the reality of life in Nigeria. Jumbo salaries can do that. Living in Maitama and Asokoro can do that.

No sense of focus. Or urgency. Nothing to suggest they understand how bleak the situation is. How the masses' pockets have dried up and the belts have tightened to the point of asphyxiation.

The country has been at a virtual standstill since January. Almost gave up the ghost in April. Has been managing on life support since May. Yet the creme de la creme are smiling and patting each others backs like they've found the cure for cancer.

I feel like becoming a militant.

Nigeria.

The country where one of the Main policies of an intending Minister of Justice is to give CAR GRANTS to lawyers.

Why do I punish myself like this??? This whole Ministerial Screening from the beginning has been a charade. No new ideas. No ground-breaking policy suggestions. Just regurgitation of old, tired, nauseating talking points; sometimes garnished with nice diction and polished accents.

Please advice me. Should I kill myself or commit suicide?

Rushing to False Prosperity

Nigerians must learn to stop worshipping money and deifying opulence.

I'm not saying this because I'm jealous or envious or a hater.

But this mentality is what has gotten us into the current mess we find ourselves in.

When I was little and I came home with an eraser that did not belong to me my mom would freak out. Even though I claimed it was a gift she would not be pacified. You were guilty until proven innocent. She would come to school to confirm you did not steal it.

Those were the good old days.

Nowadays it is common for a young school drop-out to leave his village on foot and return six months later in the latest Range Rover to a rousing welcome. All sorts of traditional titles would most definitely be showered on him and he will be presented to the young ones as a role model. No one bothers about the source of wealth; only how to spend it with him.

Nearly every testimony in church is about new cars; houses and million dollar contracts. We give people church positions and titles based on their supposed financial net-worth rather than spiritual net-worth. Youths actually flock to certain churches because of a mentality that everyone there buys a car within a short time of joining the church.
What we call testimonies in our churches is becoming a spiritual stink. When last did we celebrate Character and Integrity? How far we have fallen!

It's so bad these days that even in some secondary schools it's the children with the richest parents that get picked as Prefects. And the schools are 'rewarded' with large endowments from their parents.

And we are shocked that majority of our youths are only interested in get-rich-quick schemes. We should prepare ourselves for more armed robberies; kidnappings and white-collar crimes. It is not their fault; they are doing what we taught them.

This country is as corrupt as the Sahara is dry. I have said before that we have to treat corruption like Ebola - infectious; destructive; deadly.

Meaning anyone and everyone around that flashes unpalatable wealth and opulence should be treated first with cautious suspicion rather than a shameless rush to align ourselves and get our 'share'. We should stop worshipping them in our offices and churches and villages. Test all spirits.

In countries where reason still rules, we still find a few people able to ask the serious questions. Wesley Snipes and Lauryn Hill can testify to that.

I have mentioned no names. Just trying to get us to think.

All Roads lead to the Same Old Story

There are some federal roads in Nigeria that have been in the news since I was a suckling babe:

- Lagos-Ibadan Expressway
- East-West Road
- Second Niger Bridge
etc

Every year they turn up like abiku children in our National Budget.

Buhari is on his way to Cross River to kick-start another Abiku child of a road.

Even the tiny sections of these roads that are completed and commissioned are back in the budget after three years for Maintenance. Because they were constructed without the fear of God.

When will we finish with these and move on to other lesser known problem stretches? Of which we have hundreds, by the way.

If we need to put ten toll-gates on each one to get some company to invest, build and maintain for us please let's do it. Money cannot compare to the daily loss of lives and livelihood.

Don't be Foolish in Love

Ladies don't get it twisted:

There are still men out there that do not believe in domestic violence or marital rape.
These men look normal. They wear trousers and spray cologne like Normal people. They may go to church with an oversize bible and may even speak in tongues.

If you are not yet married please take time out of your sharwama and karaoke romance to ask your boo the serious life questions. Ask him his views on women; on rape; on having only female kids; on infertility.

Ask him about working mothers; household finances; the role of in-laws in a marriage; his relationship with his past exes and the women in his family.

Not everyday having sex and sharing nude pictures. There's time for that; believe me na you go taya.

Don't be Foolish in Love. Better know the person you are loving or you may be in for a nasty surprise. Many nasty surprises.

This goes for the guys too. Use your upper brain more than your lower brain during courtship.

But this is specifically about domestic violence and marital rape. If your bae/boo does not believe violence - especially sexual violence - in marriage is wrong, I advice you to borrow yourself a brain and some legs and run fast.

Don't say nobody warned you.

Somewhere in Yobe State there's a bereaved father

Somewhere in Yobe State there's a bereaved father.
I don't know his name because the news channels deemed it unnecessary to even mention.
His son, a University undergraduate died in the last bomb blast.
He came out of the house to investigate the source of some loud bangs; saw a suicide bomber approaching a crowded area and immediately engaged him. They were both killed in the ensuing blast.

The father ran out and met his son in pieces. His son gave his life to save many others.

He tells this story on Channels tv with a dazed stoic look. The reality seems not to have hit him completely as yet.

In other countries his son's pictures would be all over the news. His family would be receiving monetary donations from far and wide to console them. The Governor would have paid them a visit. Because his son died a HERO. One of many everyday heroes both military and civilian that have died fighting Boko Haram.

But in Nigeria, my country, his life and death means Nothing.
Except to the mourning family he left behind.

In Nigeria, my country, our real heroes remain nameless and faceless while thieving politicians go home with truckloads of Awards.

To us, any bomb blast not involving Abuja or Lagos may as well have occurred on Mars. We keep on rocking.

Rest in peace, Dear Unknown.

C ' est la vie.

Is Faith a substitute for Medicine?

Okay let's think about this slowly and carefully....

- Why do you take Paracetamol for headache but reject Epidural for labour pains?

- Why do you take injections for malaria but refuse insulin injections for Diabetes?

- Why do you wear glasses for your weak eyes but you refuse medication for hypertension?

- Why do you accept POP for a broken bone but refuse C/S for your baby whose life is in danger?

- Why would you have no problem with medicines for cough and cold and catarrh but when it comes to cancer it's 'not your portion' and you run away from the doctor like he's an agent of the devil?

Please let's make up our minds.

Either God can heal everything or He can't.

Either God supports medical advancements and interventions or He doesn't.

If you believe in 'faith alone'; fine.

If you believe in 'faith plus medicine', fine.

But be consistent.

Don't take your own medications at home and then come out and tell others it is prayer and fasting that healed you.

Don't go for 5 cycles of IVF and then omit this part during your 'church testimony' with your bouncing baby triplets.

Don't tell your congregation C/S is not their portion meanwhile your 3 kids were delivered that way.

Don't preach "all you need is faith"; "whose report will you believe" and discourage people from following their own doctors advice meanwhile you have health insurance coverage for your whole family and you don't miss your yearly medical check-ups.

Practice what you preach.

The Ministerial List has finally arrived. And it is underwhelming...

If this 'list' had come out on May 30th, 2015; nobody would have been surprised.
Infact this list could have been typed out since March when the election results were announced.

PMB; we know you must give jobs to the boys but haba! This one is a "meh" from me.

I've totally lost interest at this juncture.

Someone with time on their hands should please do the state by state breakdown and let us know which States are pending. Also the male to female ratio, politician to technocrat ratio etc. I can't be bothered.

By the way: if you know PMB please inform him that we said we are fed up with this culture of sending names of Ministers for vetting without portfolio!!!

PMB should not vex us o. He won't like the result at all.

The 11th Commandment: Do Not Get Caught

Let me ramble a bit.

The 11th Commandment: Do Not Get Caught.

Let's Just Be Honest: We want a 'system that works' - as long as it works in our favor.

We are all salivating for our 'leaders' to be made to pay for their 'sins'. We want them to suffer and be humiliated. Like a mob baying for blood.

Even me, I confess I can't wait...

But be careful o. Listen to President Buhari's speech again. It's not just about leaders. It's not just about politicians. It's about you and I.

You can't be praying for someone to be jailed for a $5000 dollar bribe while you offered an FRSC official N5000 yesterday to overlook your expired insurance or that illegal U-turn...

You can't be tearing pant over NASS members who have worked for only 2 weeks in 4 months collecting 'bogus salaries' meanwhile you have been collecting salary as a ghost worker in your local government office for the past 2 years....

You can't be asking Aregbesola why he hasn't paid salaries meanwhile you haven't paid those working for you for 6 months. Infact, most of them are yet to even receive appointment letters.

You can't be accusing Saraki of kwarruption meanwhile you just sent a huge Sallah ram to that guy in the Ministry who is in charge of vetting all the contract proposals...

Many of us went to school with forged WAEC results;
paid for people to write JAMB for us; bribed someone to get us a 'government job';
regularly give out white envelopes in Ministry offices to get contracts;
we lie in bed at home while someone else organises our drivers licence;
we keep disturbing drs for fake 'excuse duty' from work so we can attend weddings and funerals;
we are even paying our kids' teachers 'extra' to ensure they 'do well' in school; we use every means to get ahead of others and cut corners any which way...

The truth is we ALL shout corruption in this country - so who is the corrupt one then??? If we all hate it then WHO is doing it??? Why do we justify every crooked thing WE do but are so quick to crucify others? Because the money is bigger? The stakes are higher?

Be careful what you wish for. If God - willing the wind of Change is actually as thorough as we are hoping, it will probably sweep many of us away as well. Because we are no better. We may actually be ten times worse if given the same opportunity.

Most of us observe crooked dealings in our workplaces and around us everyday but we keep quiet. We even participate. We are scared to be whistle-blowers or to be the odd one out but we hide behind our smart phones to form 'activists' and change agents.

Let's continue to push for change in OURSELVES and those around us, not only those in Abuja. They were not born that way; they started out like you and I. Making excuses for flexible consciences until the poor things just gave up and died completely. It all starts somewhere.

Let's raise the bar in our personal lives.

Let's decide to do the right thing no matter how difficult or inconvenient.

Let's decide to speak up against the little injustices we see everyday.

President Buhari is not a saint. He is not superman or the messiah. He is not the conscience of the Nation. He will come and go and you and I will still be here. With our hypocritical ways.

Enough with Southern Hypocrisy!

Hypocrisy has a Nigerian Passport, BVN, NIN and even PVC.

Infact it has opened branches in the 36 states of Nigeria plus FCT.

Today I'm a pissed off Southerner.

Who is SICK AND TIRED of Southerners acting all holier than thou.

Who told you every Northern girl is unhappily married? Who told you they are all sitting in their homes waiting for you to rescue them? Who told you they are all suffering?

The North has its problems but SO DOES THE SOUTH. Stop pointing your dirty fingers!!! Your case is even worse!

There are many stable happy families in the North! Many responsible men both Muslim and Christian! progressive! Monogamous and Polygamous!

You sit in Lagos and Aba and Port Harcourt and think you are better than everyone else. It will shock you!

Rather than spending your energy trying to 'emancipate' Northern women take a look around your own village!

There are enough problems of poverty, marginalization, teenage pregnancy, school drop-outs, teen prostitutes, drug addiction, baby factories, human trafficking, kidnapping, illiteracy, under - age marriage, domestic abuse, paedophilia in Southern Nigeria to occupy any over zealous activist. Charity Begins At HOME!!!

Stop the over generalisation as regards the lifestyles and cultures of our Northern brethren. A lot of them are enjoying life so much more than you!

Let's be a bit more objective and open-minded in our analyses.

God Bless the Pope

The Pope's visit to the US is such a blessing.
The man himself exudes such humility and grace that the mere sight of him moves me to tears, makes me want to do better; be better. And he has that effect on virtually everyone, Christian and non-Christian.

He carries such a heavy burden but with such cheerfulness and gentility.

I watch Madison Square Garden packed with 20,000 people - not for Beyonce, not for football - but to celebrate Mass in honour of the Almighty. And i know God is telling us He hasn't finished with us yet.
Sure, the world is in chaos and things look bad - and for sure things are gonna get worse - MUCH worse - but God is still on the throne. He is still in the business of snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.

I feel God sent the Pope at this time to provide a measure of grace to fortify America for some upheavals coming in the near future. Whatever happens, America remains God's own country. One nation under God.

May God preserve His Church, His Body, and unite us all in Him.

You met a guy you thought was awesome.

You met a guy you thought was awesome.

He came with a lot of good recommendations.
You get married.
Your husband suddenly changes.
Blows hot and cold.
Makes your life a living hell.
Makes promises he never keeps.
Tells everyone you are lazy and erratic and ungrateful even though he does so much for you.
Tells you that you are nobody without him.
Tells you he is the best thing in your life.
Cheats on you with other women.
Plots with them to assault you.
You are miserable.
You are broke, busted and disgusted.
So you ask for a divorce.
After a rough fight you are able to leave him.
Freedom!
Soon after he is made a Deacon in church.
He is even given Man of the Year award.
Then he remarries - the Bishop's daughter for that matter!

People around start telling you:
"Shame on you. You tried to run down such a nice man. See how other people like him. See how he is now prospering..."
.
.
.
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Okay, let's run through this again.
.
.
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Nigerians met Ngozi Okonjo Iweala.

We thought she was awesome.

She came with a lot of good recommendations...

Food for Thought

You may not be aware of this but in the Western world:

- more and more women are opting for Natural childbirth and home births

- more and more women are opting for breastfeeding over formula - even for working moms

- more and more women are opting for reusable washable cloth diapers for their babies versus disposable diapers.

- more and more households are opting for chemical-free house cleaning agents (remember the pot scrub we made out of eggshells in Home Ec?)

- more and more American families are home - schooling their kids

- the percentage of western families that have eliminated a television from their homes grows every year.

Moral of the story:

A lot of practices back here in Africa were disparaged by the white man as backwards and ignorant.
So we believed them, threw it all away and swallowed their views on life hook, line and sinker.

We took their clothes, their religions, their music, their political systems, their family values - we swallowed it all.

Now we wear suits that strangulate us in the heat of our African sun and eat burger, chicken and chips to prove we have arrived...

Meanwhile the White man is embracing 'ethnic' clothing and vegetarian diet...

Many years down the line they went back to our trashcans; dusted off our 'ignorant' practices; TWEAKED AND IMPROVED ON THEM and are now proclaiming them to be the next Big thing.

In this life learn to accept nothing at face value; question everything.

Always ask yourself "can this be improved? Is there a better way?"

Don't accept everything your teachers tell you as the Gospel. Force them to prove their case to you.

Don't always view our traditional ways as INFERIOR. Don't throw all the babies out with the bath water. Find what is good in our ways and improve on the basic model; minimize the weaknesses.

Ps: let me just drop this and run...

some oyinbo proponents of natural childbirth now recommend eating your placenta after delivery... they actually wash it, prepare it as capsules and take as medicine...

‪#‎THINKaboutit‬
‪#‎themindisaterriblethingtowaste‬

To All the 'Overgrown' Men

The love of a good woman is like having Christmas all year round...

If you're one of those 'overgrown' men who feel that the beautiful ones have all been born and taken - it's not true. You may just be the problem.

Aren't you tired of one-night-stands and first dates?
Aren't you tired of going to bed with only your cynicism to keep you company at night?
This life is too boring to go it alone.

I know so many wonderful single ladies and i am amazed at the poor judgement of the guys around them. Chasing brazilian hair and short skirts like those things can cook a good pot of stew. smh.

Mr single-guy-approaching- Man-o-pause;
please put aside your pessimistic philosophies and high-sounding rhetoric and greedy ashawo eyes searching for perfection in an imperfect world. Take a good look around you.

The happiness that is waiting to overwhelm you has been patiently doing sit-ups. If only you can recognise and locate Her.

But don't wait too long. Why do you want to waste your youth with all these small-small girls - and then when you are quarter to impotence and diabetes you finally decide to 'settle down'? Matured single ladies are not hospice nurses or mortuary attendants please.

PS: If you are still lost you can inbox me for directions. I have some awesome single ladies on my google map... grin emoticon

Happy Sunday.